Identity controls behavior

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These notes were taken when I virtually attended the Ignite the family women’s conference held in Missouri on March 5th and 6th. The speaker was Kathy Koch (Cook)

The Five components that control our behavior


  1. Security- who can I trust
  2. Identity-.who am I
  3. Belonging- who wants me. 
  4. Purpose-why am I Alive
  5. Competence- what can I do.

Competence is not perfection

Beliefs and Behaviour are linked, belief cause our behavior



If you want to change your behavior, you have to change your beliefs because what you listen to causes your identity. 

How can I figure out what I believe?

  1. What do you think about?
  2. What don’t you think about
If you don’t know what you believe, find someone similar to you and ask them why they do what they do. 

To change we have to exchange.  Give God a behavior in exchange for better behavior. 


To be a woman of God we need accountability

When I remember the End of the Story

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The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters; he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalms 23:1‭-‬6

The Big Idea

Don’t forget surely


I can have confidence no matter what I’m facing.
..

1. Because God’s goodness and mercy are chasing after me. 

Goodness- when God gives me what I don’t deserve

Mercy -When doesn’t give me what I do deserve


The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalms 103:8‭-‬12


“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:12‭-‬14

2.  Because God’s glory is waiting for me. 

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
Psalm 23:6b


One thing I ask from the Lord , this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

Psalms 27:4

If we could combine all 66 books of the Bible into one phrase way it would Be

God With Us

A follow up to yesterday’s post:be careful about who you seek advice from

I survived, I kissed dating Goodbye


Becoming a child of God and knowing in my soul that he loves me and died on the Cross to save me is something that is part of me.

I also carry the belief that people should not have sex before marriage if you are a Christian.

However, I also believe that when I came to my saving faith in Christ that I wanted to fit in and belong among the Christian teens that I knew. So when it came to doing highschool activities like going to dances, I did not think about asking someone older than me, who had lived more life and was a follower of Christ, how they navigated high school rights of passage.

I only knew that all of my friends were reading a book called I kissed dating goodbye, this was a book that was, without a doubt, The Trend of the ’90s, and I took it as scripture rather than opening my Bible.

So, in conclusion, I would encourage younger people who accept Jesus Christ as their savior to read your Bible and ask questions of older people than you in the faith because if something seems too trendy, it probably is.

The Day That Changed My Life

I don’t remember the exact date or day of the week, but I do remember that the day that changed my life happened in 1995 and I was 13 years old. I was at school and it was nutrition, 10 am or so.

I went into the health office crying, saying I need to call my mom. I want to go home. I was being bullied at this time in my life very badly and the students who were bullying me were in my first two classes.

When I called my mom saying that I wanted to go home she asked me why and I told her I can’t take it anymore I need to go home. She told me to try to calm down and stop crying and then she told me the thing that changed my life just pray. I told her I didn’t know what to pray for she told me again just pray so while I was still crying I hung up the phone and went into another room and said God I don’t know if you want to hear me I know you’re busy but I need your help I need you to come into my life and help me through this I can’t do this on my own anymore the moment that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior was the moment that my life changed. The things that I experienced didn’t get any easier but I knew I wasn’t alone. When you accept Christ as your lord and savior he promises that at that moment you are his forever child he loves you and he will watch out for you and he promises to be with you in every step of your life. Becoming a child of God is the best decision I have ever made it’s not something you are born into as some might think because of your family being Christian it’s not something you get baptized into as a baby but it is a decision that you need to make at any time in your life if you are reading this and you have not made that decision yet I urge you to consider letting Jesus into your life. If you do come to that decision at any time not just when you’re reading this please feel free to let me know and I will commit to bring for you I know that this is one of the best decisions you will ever make in your life if not the best ever decision you will make in your life God bless and I’ll talk to you soon

Who is Marie

I finished reading a book called Share your stuff, I’ll go first and I came up with this list inspired by chapter 1 called who are you.

I am

1. A follower of Christ
2.  A daughter
3.  A sister
4. A singer
5.  A younger cousin
6.  An older cousin
7. A niece
8.  A lover of music and Theatre
9.  I’m a great listener
10.  I pray for people I love and those who don’t like me.
11.  I don’t get why people, especially women, complain about getting older. 
12. I use to complain if I wasn’t constantly on the go, but now I know how to be at peace when I’m home. 

When I fear the Future

Since when do sheep sit at a table? What kind of banquet is this?

  • God is the host
  • I am the guest of honor
  • It’s on a battlefield

Who is the enemy?

1. The world around me

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

2. Satan who is against me

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

3. My old nature inside me

but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.

Romans 7:23

What does this Banquet symbolize?

1. God wants and welcomes fellowship with me.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalms 5:11

2. God wants to bless me and show the world his goodness

How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.

Psalms 31:19

30 facts about me

  1. I was born 11 weeks early
  2. I started walking at the age of 8
  3. I wore braces on my legs till I was 13
  4. When I was a kid, my favorite singers were Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Cindy Lauper, and Gloria Estefan.
  5. As far as I know, I was the first person who used a wheelchair that was a member of my junior high and high school choir
  6. I am responsible for the ramp that leads to the Eagle Rock High School auditorium stage
  7. In high school, I sang on the stage of the Dorothy Chandler pavilion
  8. I sang for city council members in high school
  9. In 9th grade, I spoke at USC to a huge group of people
  10. I represented southern California when I was invited to a meeting in Sacramento, CA, in 10th grade
  11. After high school, I was chosen as one of 53 students to be part of the governor’s youth forum on disability when Gray Davis was governor
  12. I passed sign language with the help of Mr. Holland’s Opus
  13. My entire childhood my baseball Jersey number was 13 so I don’t see it as unlucky
  14. I sang a song in sign language when I was in children’s choir
  15. I started walking long distance in 2011
  16. I have seen Jersey Boys three times and Wicked five times
  17. I met Adam Pascal twice
  18. I’ve been part of a cast of a tv show.
  19. I’ve walked a red carpet
  20. I’ve done a 5k.
  21. It’s a goal of mine to go to New York and see wicked on Broadway
  22. Barefoot in the Park is my favorite movie and play
  23. I played Corie Bratter in college
  24. A woman at my church used to call me sunshine
  25. I want to travel and tell my story
  26. Some people still think im in my 20’s
  27. I found out that some people at my church get nervous when climbing the stairs to the stage.
  28. I went by Nikki in JR. High
  29. I was on tv in second grade.
  30. I love what I do

When I’m insecure

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalms 23:1‭-‬6

When David find himself in the valley he makes a You Turn.

What is a Rod and what is a staff?

A Rod is used for guarding and protecting

A staff is used guiding and directing.

How does Jesus care for his sheep?

1. If I bring him my hurt Jesus shows me compassion

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Matthew 9:36

2. If I wander away Jesus Finds Me and bring me back

3. If I trust him to save me he Keeps me saved.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

John 10:27‭-‬29